Mother’s Day, a day to honor and appreciate moms, can sometimes turn into a mess of mixed feelings and misunderstandings. Family disagreements and unmet expectations can bring unexpected drama, just like in the story of our reader, Lily.
Lily’s husband invited his family for Mother’s Day dinner without asking her.
Lily, who is 35 years old, wrote to us about a big problem she’s having with her husband and mother-in-law. It’s caused a lot of trouble for their family.
She started her letter by saying, “My husband invited his mom over for Mother’s Day dinner without asking me. I was really mad because I had to cook for 10 people and take care of two kids all at once. I didn’t get to sit down until everyone arrived, and when I finally did, I hardly got to eat because the kids kept asking me for things. Then, I had to clean up all the mess on MY HOLIDAY. My husband always promises to clean up later, but the next day, the mess is still there. I really needed a day where I didn’t have to make everything perfect for everyone else. No one even noticed how stressed I was.”
Things got worse when her husband made a toast. Lily continued, “But then, something happened that really made me angry. My husband stood up and said, ‘The most important woman in my life is sitting right here at this table. She gave me the precious gift of life and filled my life with light.’ I felt so mad at that moment. He acted like his mom was the only mother there.”
“The final straw was when my husband gave his mom a gift, a beautiful necklace with a locket. I couldn’t help but speak up, ‘Excuse me, but where’s my gift? There are two mothers at this table.’ My husband seemed surprised, like he hadn’t thought about it. But before he could say anything, my mother-in-law smiled and said, ‘Oh dear, you’re too modest. Your gift is the joy of being a mother, the love of your children, and the happiness of this beautiful family.’ Her words were too sweet.”
“At that moment, I couldn’t take it anymore. Without saying a word, I stood up from the table, feeling so frustrated. I looked at my mother-in-law and said, ‘I’m sorry, but I need some time alone. I think it’s best if you leave now.’
No one appreciated Lily’s efforts, and no one even wished her a happy Mother’s Day.
In her letter, Lily wrote, “It got really quiet, and I felt like the air was heavy. My husband tried to say something, but I stopped him. I watched as my mother-in-law packed up and left without saying anything else. I felt bad about what I did, but I also felt relieved.”
“Later, when the house was quiet and I was alone, I finally let myself cry. Mother’s Day was supposed to be happy, but for me, it was frustrating and upsetting. It hurt even more that my husband didn’t think about getting me a gift. The worst part is that neither my husband nor his mom understood why I reacted like I did. My mother-in-law is still mad at me and won’t come to visit. Our family relationships are really strained now. I hope your readers can give me some advice.
Another reader also faced issues with her mother-in-law.