A 59-year-old woman wrote to us with her emotional story involving her daughter-in-law (DIL). She sought advice on whether it was justified to retaliate against her DIL, who had insulted her several times. She shared the details of their complex relationship and asked for our opinion on the matter. We invite you to delve into her family situation and share your thoughts.
A woman wrote to us to share her absolutely dramatic family story.
A 59-year-old woman named Rosa recently wrote to us about her situation.
She started by saying, “Hello, I’m Rosa. I never expected to take the actions I did with my son’s family. But the circumstances forced me to speak up and take action. Now I’m unsure if I did the right thing and need advice on whether my actions were too harsh.”
Rosa explained that she’s a widow living alone in a large country house inherited from her grandmother. This is where her son Nigel, 35, was born and raised, and where he brought his then-girlfriend and now-wife Helen for the first time.
Rosa vividly remembers her first meeting with Helen. She recalls, “I had a feeling right from the start that Helen and I wouldn’t get along. She seemed standoffish, asking probing questions about my education and background. It felt more like a job interview than a friendly introduction with my daughter-in-law.”
Rosa and Helen have never been in a peaceful relationship with one another.
Rosa continued her story, explaining that since their first meeting, Helen’s attitude toward her had hardly changed. Helen often made fun of Rosa, who had worked as a cleaner in the past, calling her job “undignified.” She also criticized Rosa as “uneducated” and suggested she should read more books.
Despite enduring these hurtful remarks for the sake of her son Nigel’s happiness, Rosa found it challenging. Nigel deeply loved Helen despite her personality, and they were building their own family. Rosa simply wanted less interaction with Helen in her house, but she always cherished visits from Nigel and her two grandchildren, Mike and Tommy.
When Nigel lost his job as CEO of a large multinational company, it was a blow to the entire family, including Rosa. She knew Nigel would struggle to find new employment quickly because his reputation in the business world had suffered. Meanwhile, Nigel’s family needed to move from their rented house and find a more affordable place as they faced financial strain.
Rosa stepped in and made a significant decision. She used all her life savings and the inheritance left by her late husband to buy a house for Nigel and his family. The house was purchased under Rosa’s name, but she presented it as Nigel’s decision to buy it with his inheritance money.
Helen was unaware of Rosa’s huge income into their family.
Rosa continued, “I never wanted to reveal to Helen that I was the one who bought their house. I went further by secretly sending good amounts of money from my late husband’s savings to Nigel’s bank account, despite his initial resistance. He needed the financial support while searching for a new job.”
Rosa mentioned that her relationship with Helen didn’t improve over time. In fact, Helen became even more disrespectful towards Rosa due to their family’s financial crisis.
Helen didn’t hesitate to blame Rosa for raising a son who she claimed was unfit for life and “so worthless that he couldn’t even handle a job interview.” She seemed to forget how successful Nigel had been in his previous job and how much effort he had put into achieving that success.
The unhealthy situation reached its peak one day, during a family trip.
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