My Boyfriend Wants a Paternity Test for Our Newborn Daughter

This story is about a young mother dealing with trust issues after her boyfriend asks for a paternity test for their newborn daughter. This request brings up feelings of doubt and questions about trust, just when they should be celebrating the birth of their child.

She explained what happened.

My boyfriend of 7.5 years and I just had our daughter almost three weeks ago, and now he’s asking for a paternity test. We met at work—I’m a nurse, and he’s a surgeon who works a lot. I’m not working right now, so I stay home while he supports us.

I’ve always been faithful to him, but he has made some mistakes over the years, which I forgave. He told his coworkers in the operating room that he asked for a paternity test, which upset me. He says they understand why I’m upset.

His reason is that he doesn’t want to raise a child unless he’s 100% sure she’s his. He doesn’t want to find out later that she isn’t, like in the movies. He just wants to be certain.

But then he said that since I’m home alone a lot and he’s never home, he doesn’t know what I’m doing. This really hurt because I’ve been the one who’s been faithful. If he wants to pay for the paternity test, I’m okay with that. But am I wrong for being upset by the way he’s making it seem like I’m the one who’s unfaithful?

People supported her.

  • “IMAX level of projection here. I’d be wondering if he has any other kids out there that need paternity tests. Cheating isn’t a ’slip-up.

 

  • “I’m a nurse who was married to a doctor. He will continue to cheat on you, I promise. He’s projecting on you his own behavior, my ex did that as well. He would call to see if I left work to the minute… forbid me to go back to work… it doesn’t get better. Hugs to you.

 

  • “He wants the test because he thinks you’re like him, and you both know you can’t trust him. Give him the test and get it out of the way, but you’re 100% justified in being upset that it’s his own behavior that’s causing this lack of trust.

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