Losing someone you love while dealing with tough and emotional issues can be overwhelming. Recently, a man shared on Reddit a similar situation: he refused to give his late boyfriend’s family the house they had bought together, causing a heated debate about grief, property, and doing what’s right.
He wrote:
“My boyfriend (30M) and I (33M) were together for 15 years. We met in high school and stayed together until a few months ago when he passed away from bone cancer.
I live in a traditional country. His parents kicked him out when he came out as gay at 17, so my family took him in, helped him finish school, and supported him.
After school, he worked hard, made good money, and bought a house 10 years ago. He was paying the mortgage himself. Four years ago, he got cancer. He worked less to focus on his health, so I started paying the mortgage.
He explained further:
“Cancer took him in March. After he died, his family suddenly reappeared, saying they were sorry for not being in his life. Then a month ago, they asked me when I would give them the keys to the house.
I told them they couldn’t have it because the house is in my name. I bought the house from my boyfriend a year after his diagnosis, so it’s legally mine, and I had been paying the mortgage before that. They were upset, saying it should belong to them and that my boyfriend would have wanted that.”
“After thinking about it, I told them, ‘You can only have the house if you buy it from me by paying me back for the four years of mortgage and taking on the rest of the debt.’ They said they couldn’t afford it and called me selfish. They wanted to transfer the debt to themselves without paying me back, but I refused. The argument got worse, and they even threatened to take me to court, accusing me of tricking my boyfriend to get the house.
They have been calling and texting me non-stop for a month, threatening me. I know they can’t pay me back, but I feel conflicted. Some friends say I should just give them the house and move on, but it doesn’t feel right to me. I’m thinking of not giving them the house. I don’t really need it, but I don’t want to give it to them either. Am I wrong for saying no?”