In a marriage, it’s common to play little games with each other, like flirting or sharing funny jokes, which can be a fun way to connect. However, some games can cross the line and become really disrespectful. A 35-year-old woman wrote to us, deeply distressed. She opened up about her painful struggle to come to terms with the fact that her husband had turned out to be unkind. Ella’s life seemed like a fairytale, full of love, until one day.Ella and her husband, Jack, had been blissfully married for over a decade. In all that time, she had never seen a hint of disrespect from him. Their marriage was a passionate,
respectful bond she cherished deeply. But recently, Ella’s fairytale took a dark turn. Ella wrote to us in desperation, revealing that Jack had started treating her with cruel disrespect. She said, “Our marriage was always based on love, trust, and mutual respect. Jack was a wonderful, caring husband. But everything changed about a year ago.” One day it all was ruined by her husband behaviour.“Jack started making hurtful comments about my body odor. I was completely bewildered.
Nothing about my routine had changed — I always maintained impeccable hygiene. Yet, Jack kept insulting me, telling me every single day that I smelled bad,” she revealed. Ella tried to cope, “I showered multiple times a day, used strong deodorants, and brushed my teeth obsessively”. Despite her efforts, Jack’s comments continued to tear her down. The constant verbal abuse was shattering Ella’s self-esteem. “Being told you stink by someone you love is unbearable. It made me question my sanity. Even after a doctor confirmed there was nothing wrong with me, I asked friends and family to check if I had any odor.
Everyone reassured me I smelled perfectly clean, one even saying I smelled like I’d just walked out of a perfume store.”The emotional toll became immense.Ella even started asking friends and family for their honest opinions. Everyone confirmed she didn’t smell bad at all, and one person even said she smelled like she had just walked out of a perfume store. “One fateful morning, I stumbled upon a shocking truth. I had come home early from a walk, feeling unwell, and overheard Jack on a video call with his mother. Jack was venting about his ‘smelly game,’ admitting he had been using it to push me away and avoid intimacy,” Ella wrote. “His mother’s response was chilling: she revealed that she was actually encouraging him to keep me in line using this vile tactic. She said it was a foolproof way to make sure a woman stays loyal and never leaves.”Ella’s had to make her final decision.Ella was horrified. The idea of Jack using such a vile strategy, one his mother had endured, was unbearable. “Jack doesn’t know I know everything now,” Ella wrote. “I’m done with this marriage. Before I leave, though, I want to make sure he understands the pain he caused me. I can’t stay with someone who uses such cruel methods against a woman who loves him wholeheartedly.” When such games are meant to hurt or manipulate, they can be very damaging. It’s important to recognize when playful interactions turn into cruel behavior and to talk about it with honesty and respect.
