A 39-year-old man wrote to our editorial team asking for advice about his complicated family situation. He seemed very desperate and in need of help. His story was about finding his wife’s diary and reading it while she was in a coma, hoping to feel closer to her. But instead, he was devastated by what he found out about her personality and actions.
The man explained that his wife was in a serious accident some time ago, which left her in a coma for 8 days. He said, “When my wife went into the coma, no one knew how long it would last. I thought it might be months, or even years, before she woke up. I wasn’t even sure she would wake up at all, and it felt like I had already lost her.”
He described his feelings, saying, “I was completely broken and overwhelmed with grief. Each day without good news just made me feel worse.” The man also said that their relationship had always been nearly perfect. They had been married for 15 years, traveled the world together, and she was his best friend. He couldn’t imagine life without her.
One night, feeling very sad and tired, he was sitting in their bedroom. He wrote, “I felt emotionally and physically drained. There was still no good news about my wife, so I decided to lay on her side of the bed because it still smelled like her, and it comforted me.”
He remembered that his wife always used a special lotion before bed, so he opened the drawer to get the bottle to smell it. That’s when he saw her diary. He said, “I had never touched her things before. I knew about the diary, but I had never opened it. That night, I just wanted to feel close to her, so I started reading it.
The man discovered that his wife had been writing in her diary on and off for about four years. As he read it, he felt more and more shocked. He wrote, “Almost all the entries were angry ones about her female friends or social media followers. She wrote long paragraphs about how they were ugly, untalented, and listed all their flaws.”
She would get really upset if any woman followed him on social media or if they met a female friend in person. His wife wrote pages about how she wanted to ruin these women’s lives. She was also very angry that he “got all the attention” and didn’t delete his female followers. She expected that if a woman followed his account, she should also follow her account out of respect.
While reading, the man found out that his wife had been messaging these women from fake accounts, accusing them of disrespecting their marriage. She would say offensive and manipulative things to them, pretending to be just a person from their hometown, which often led to these women unfollowing him without telling him why.
The man realized that this had been going on for years without his knowledge. His wife’s diary showed how she had been pushing away any new female follower in ways that didn’t reveal her but still kept them away from him.